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Teenagers: Parenting Responsibilities

Considerations for Parents1

Although parents may sometimes feel that they are not able to reach their teen, research shows that over the long term, they have the strongest influence on their children. In fact, parents serve as the primary role models for children and youth.

Close, supportive parent-child relationships are the strongest protective influences a child can have.

Changes in parenting over the years has resulted in . . . "a more equal relationship in which parents are 'friends' with their children."2 Problems can arise, however, when the desire for parents to be friends with their children overrides the need to provide them with appropriate levels of guidance and structure.

"Children from homes with reasonable but firm rules and expectations are actually happier than those with no rules or structure." 3

"The most effective parents set high standards and are demanding, but wrap this approach with warmth, love and involvement" 4

Responsibilities of parents

  • To establish and mainatain a safe home environment (e.g. physically, emotionally) for our children.
  • To set clear, age-appropriate limits (allow children to be part of the decision-making process) and be prepared to enforce them.
  • To establish and maintain a healthy level of structure within the family (e.g. roles, responsibilities, schedules, activities).
  • To be aware of and monitor our children's behaviour, activities and friendships by asking questions and staying involved.
  • To admit to and deal with our own mistakes and problems in a healthy manner that sets a good example for our children.
  • To establish and maintain a team-approach to parenting that is consisitent and supportive.

1 Adapted from Huyter, E. Annette (2003). MAKING CHOICES - TAKING RISKS: The Adolescent Experience. A publication of Addiction Prevention & Treatment Services, Capital Health, Halifax, Nova Scotia p. 34

2 Cottrell, B. (2001). Parent abuse: The abuse of parents by their teenage children. Ottawa, Ontario: Health Canada

3 U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (1993). Parents: getting a head start against drugs.

4 DeBord, K. (1999). Parenting teens. North Carolina: North Carolina Cooperative Extension Service.